Snow and the City (a story of my kingship)
By midnight all North York became one deserted grave yard for TTC buses, over-confident SUV's, and other wreckages; all city services decided to take a long and well deserved winter nap, and I became the King of the city. The truth is that deep down inside I love winter driving, with all its skidding, breaking, digging in and out, sliding to the side, and finally getting to the destination. I am a 28 years old, and consider myself mature, but sometimes I am still an 18 year old showoff kid (except by now I have learned how to winter drive). Can you believe that I was doing driving tricks on deserted streets until 4 AM in the morning and could not stop?
In the process the King (me) managed to help 5 of his subjects to get out of snowy situations (4 of them happened to be 4x4's - food for thought), mark the way for the lost in the snow, and finally leave a perfect "dough nut eight" mark on the superstore plaza.
Next day - people started to "return" to life, and The King had to pick up the kids. That was a trip to remember. I actually managed to get to all the destinations I planned that morning relatively on time. If you are wondering how I had managed that on a forward wheel drive Mazda MPV with all season tires - I have only one thing to say - I am the king, the tamer of black ice - I can.
(Hmm this kingship thing, must be like a bad beer - went straight into my head, judging by the last sentence:-))
As a King, I am going to share some rules for the snowy city subjects. Obedience is mandatory or next time I will not get you out of the ditch:-)
1. If you are afraid of the snow and drive slowly - that is your business. You will get stuck because of it, but that is Ok. Pick a lane - even the left most one and drive. Just don't pick all three lanes at once. It does not make your journey much safer - I can guarantee you that.
2. If you feel that you are stuck - it might not be enough to mindlessly press the gas pedal to the floor until your engine goes up in smoke. Try something different, something refreshing, like using the steering wheel, or trying to go backwards a bit and then change direction. Oh and going over the hill with speed is safer than slowly sliding sideways on it.
3. If you are really stuck - I understand that your floor mats represent a family treasure, but they really might help you to get out, if you put them under your wheels. And please don't talk to your grandmother, about Christmas shopping on the cellphone, while I am pushing you out of the ditch. Try using your steering wheel to help me instead.
4. 4x4 is really good at starting on hills, It is also nice going through a deep snow. It is NOT better than anything else when skidding or sliding. And once its upside down - its the same as any other wreck. Keep that and mind.
5. Finally if you are stuck - see the humor in the situation, and laugh it off. All the city is stuck not just you - and there is only one King... , or so it seemed for the first 5-6 morning hours:-)
P.S. Some of you have indicated that I made many promises in previous blogs to write more about my latest adventures and life changes, and failed to deliver on them. Guilty as Charged. I have also deserted my monthly status posts. The main lame reason for it is complete lack of time. I am planning to return to that at the end of the year, and do one complete sweep.
Another reason for dragging my feet is that I have seen the stats about who reads this blog and found some interesting surprises. Therefore I haven't decided, If I want to publish some details I used to before.... I might want to be a king I am just not sure If I should be the naked one (Wikipedia - Emperor's new Clothes), while someone else is dressed:-) - those in question will understand what I mean